City of Angels

I don't know if you've heard, but Portland's having a little bit of a late summer shooting spree. Which is to say, there have been shootings in places where white people hang out so now it's a big deal problem.

So far this year, the Police Bureau's gang enforcement team has investigated roughly 30 gang-related shootings, about the same number in the same period as last year. Only three of those shootings have been downtown, with six in North and six in East Portland. Fifteen have been in Northeast.

"It's real interesting that people are concerned now," said Willie Brown, president of the Northeast Coalition of Neighborhoods board. "Maybe they'll know what we're up against."

But don't worry gentle citizens of SW Portland. Your community will soon be rid of undesirable elements. Thanks to...duhdunna-nuh!



The Guardian Angles! Tonight TIm, Chris and I got to see them leap into action right on the mean streets of downtown PDX! This is what it looks like: A good half dozen or so chubby computer nerds in red berets with black gloves and walkie talkies chasing down and cornering a kid who's suspected of robbery or fist fightery; it was unclear what his specific crime was. They form tactical battle positions securing the perimeter like those kids at summer camp who took guarding the prison in capture the flag way too seriously. The perp tears of his shirt and starts threatening to beat up each and everyone of these pasty dorks one by one. The "bravest" of the horde of vigilantes approaches the youth and attempts to engage in some peaceful dialogue while occasionally flinching into kung-fu poses. The real cops show up and try not to laugh as the spokesman for the Angles gives him the rundown of the situation. Cops lethargically handcuff the kid and shove him into the squad car and drive off without thanking the citizen-soldiers who'd saved the day. And that's it. Show's over folks. Nothing to see here...