Chess Sucks

Every now and then I try to go on a little chess kick and improve my game. What a fucking waste of my time. Chess is a terrible game. It's no fun and people who waste their time getting good at it are total creeps. I've played dozens of games against the computer set on easy and it wins every single time. The experience is a stressful headache and a feeling of complete impotence and futility. When I play a game, I want it to be fun and I want to be able to win occasionally. I want to have the feeling that I'll get better with practice and that with the right combination of skill and luck I'll be successful. Chess just makes me angry. And this whole nonsense that smart people should be good at chess and people who are good at chess must be smart. Bullshit. I'd like to lay down the gauntlet and challenge Gary Kasparov and Bobby Fisher to a little game of Pictionary with me and my sister Steph. We'd take those dweebs to the woodshed, guaranteed. Fuck it, they can have Deep Blue on their team and I'll draw left handed with an eye-patch and we'll still smoke 'em.