Hip Hop 101 for Baby Boomers

I've long been a Jay-Z defender. Most rap snobs I know pooh-pooh his commercial success and artistic devolution. He readily admits he slowed down and simplified his flow to sell more records. But you've got to admire the dada genius of a man who can make a collosal summer jam who's hook goes: "H to the Izzo V to the Izzay".





Just as DuChamp cryptically called out the Mona Lisa (and by association the entire history of Western art) a whore, Jay-Z spelled out the fact that he is Jay-H.O.V.A, mutherfucking God himself, and all the frat boys trying to hump sorority chicks on the dance floor thought it was just gibberish. Little did they know their entire theological worldview was being subverted to a Kanye West beat.

The Jigga Man's relationship with the frat boys has been a little spotty since then. His collabo with Linkin Park was, in my mind, unforgiveable. If he's the "Mike Jordan of recording" this was definitely the musical equivalent of Jordan's stint in the minors with the White Sox. Watch this one till the end. The lameness gets exponential:



More inspired was his cameo with Phish:



But this latest comeback video and the crap Budweiser Select commercials that go with it is pushing the envelope too far. It's as if Jay-Z wants us all to know that he doesn't hang out with black people any more. Reaching out to the emopop dorks and the hippies was inspired because it felt natural and big-tenty. But NASCAR drivers? Give me a fucking break. I know rappers like their cars but c'mon. Rappers like cars that go slow. Cars that bounce. Whips you can ghost ride. Rappers like old cars from the 70's and giant SUVs. And for crying out loud rappers drive their own damn cars. They do not hire Dale Earnhardt Jr. to chauffeur them around Europe. Ah well. What you want him to do? He's sorry...