America!

Happy birthday to America. A whole holiday celebrated to blowing shit up in a dramatic and aesthetically pleasurable fashion. Here's to 230 consecutive years of being the Best Damn Country in the World Ever! In fact, I'd like to issue an official challenge to all those other countries in the world who think they're better than America: Put your country next to America side by side and compare. You know what will happen? America will beat the pants off your crappy little country every single time. And then we'll point at you and say to all the other countries, "hey look everybody, this crappy little country doesn't have any pants, aren't they fucking pathetic?" And all the other countries will laugh at you too because they'll all be afraid that America will beat the pants off them next.